We celebrated yesterday. We laughed. We shared joyful memories. We did not cry. Truthfully, the last eight months and three weeks has seen its’ share of tears, and I know God has captured each one, because His word has told me so. You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your record. Psalm 56: 7-9.
Painful sorrow and deep grief, they march through all our lives at some time. They change who we are, we move forward as different people. Every storm in my life has brought me nearer to God, the loss of my son, Steven, is no exception. During the past months, I have experienced the presence of God’s peace – and believe me, it is a presence, the presence of the Holy Spirit. It never ceases to amaze me how God does work for the good of His children. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28. There are, no doubt, many who will say, “How can any good come from the loss of your son? How can peace come in this situation?”
My prayer for Steven has always been that he would be safe, healthy, and happy. I could not have foreseen, and certainly didn’t want, my prayer answered the way God answered it. Nevertheless, today I know that Steven is safe, healthy, and beyond happy. Mere human that I am, I do not understand the ways of God, but I trust His sovereignty. To those who argue this was anything but an answer to prayer, all I can say is, “I’d like you to meet Jesus, He changes EVERYTHING.” When you meet Jesus, you realize that earth is not your permanent home and you know that those who leave this earth and know Jesus, go to be with Him. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss Steven. I miss him every minute. But God gives me a peace that defies explanation. A peace that passes understanding, a peace that gives assurance to my faith.
Today, on what would have been Steven’s 30th birthday, I remember the many wonderful memories of his life and I give praise and thanks to God for the assurance that Steven resides with Him in his eternal home. I ponder what Steven is doing, because contrary to popular myth, we do not become angels and float around on clouds playing a harp. No, in heaven we live like we’ve never lived before and right now Steven is experiencing life as I never have – to God be the glory!